Time Passes as i HURT MORE everyday...

me ,

muruga .

i've been waiting for someone ..

for almost 6months ..

6months..

guys ..

who ever read this blog..

you all may think that i m a playful boy..

but seriously.. im not playful in love..

i don;t know why..

i just don;t understand .

its just unfair..

6months le ..

every single day..

not even 1 day i miss..

to cry..

to hurt..

to scream..

to miss..

you..

i wanted to give up..

but i cant ..

my feelings towards u..

its really too much..

..6months .. i trusted that true love, needs great sacrifice..

i sacrifice many of my time..

for u..

and i wanted you to be always be happy..

i know..

readers , u all think me now is very lame de .

its ok . think la wat u wan think abt me . i dun care..

i always wanted her to be happy ..

not to be sad or hurt.

but .

she said . she hates me ..

and , im making her life..

really really really miserable..

means : im disturbing her ..

means : im making her sad ..

means : im really DUMB..

and you guys know why i decided to suicide..?

its about two things .

one is my feelings towards my dad( which is now ok already =] , love you daddy ^^)

and another one ..

my feelings towards you..

5th month..

i really cant take it ..

its been hurting me ..

really really very much..

and

could say that i skipped my breakfast , lunch , dinner for 2 daYS..

yea.. 2 daYs nvr eat anything ..

and my mum really was worried..

she scolded me . really badly .

saying me mad and all those stuffs.

i wasn't listenning .. cz i cant even understand wat was she talking ..

all i had in my heart was YOU...

YOU were the only light in my heart..

but .. i know.. for YOU , im the only darkness in YOUr heart..

:(

and i decided to end my life .

( call me stupid if u wan to )

i really cant take it anymore..

those 5months full of torture..

my heart isn't a TOY you know..?

i felt that no1 cared about me ..

i felt that no1 wans me anymore..

my mum : was like lost hope on me ..

my frens : only Rhinevir were by my side . giving support to me .

5months...

and that perfect timing

i failed the 2nd attempt for my suicidal..

..something stopped me . i don't know what it was..

but hey..

when im out from me home ,

i kept thinking of YOU..

yes...

ONLY YOU..

i was hungry but the hunger went away when YOU were in my mind..

wonder wats my 1st attempt ?

- goes lik dis .

mum went buy breakfast .

cars passingby many many on road .

lol .

sumting came into my mind ,

opened the car door ,

ran towards the middle of the road .

a car almost bang me

but didn;t .

>< ''

..i'd do anything for YOU..

anything ..

BUT..please dun ask me to leave YOU..

..i cant..even..

let..

go.. of u..in my mind..

for atleast 18seconds(tested and proven O.o'')..

sigh .

6th month..

im still waiting ..

hoping u to b with me .. :(

im sory if i ever made you sad..

im really sory if i made you angry..

please forgive me . i beg you..

.. please.. its really deep..

for me ..

even a small mistake..

i cant take it ..

... im sory ..

I L O V E Y O U ` :/

xiao` mumu~