Time Passes as i HURT MORE everyday...

me ,

muruga .

i've been waiting for someone ..

for almost 6months ..

6months..

guys ..

who ever read this blog..

you all may think that i m a playful boy..

but seriously.. im not playful in love..

i don;t know why..

i just don;t understand .

its just unfair..

6months le ..

every single day..

not even 1 day i miss..

to cry..

to hurt..

to scream..

to miss..

you..

i wanted to give up..

but i cant ..

my feelings towards u..

its really too much..

..6months .. i trusted that true love, needs great sacrifice..

i sacrifice many of my time..

for u..

and i wanted you to be always be happy..

i know..

readers , u all think me now is very lame de .

its ok . think la wat u wan think abt me . i dun care..

i always wanted her to be happy ..

not to be sad or hurt.

but .

she said . she hates me ..

and , im making her life..

really really really miserable..

means : im disturbing her ..

means : im making her sad ..

means : im really DUMB..

and you guys know why i decided to suicide..?

its about two things .

one is my feelings towards my dad( which is now ok already =] , love you daddy ^^)

and another one ..

my feelings towards you..

5th month..

i really cant take it ..

its been hurting me ..

really really very much..

and

could say that i skipped my breakfast , lunch , dinner for 2 daYS..

yea.. 2 daYs nvr eat anything ..

and my mum really was worried..

she scolded me . really badly .

saying me mad and all those stuffs.

i wasn't listenning .. cz i cant even understand wat was she talking ..

all i had in my heart was YOU...

YOU were the only light in my heart..

but .. i know.. for YOU , im the only darkness in YOUr heart..

:(

and i decided to end my life .

( call me stupid if u wan to )

i really cant take it anymore..

those 5months full of torture..

my heart isn't a TOY you know..?

i felt that no1 cared about me ..

i felt that no1 wans me anymore..

my mum : was like lost hope on me ..

my frens : only Rhinevir were by my side . giving support to me .

5months...

and that perfect timing

i failed the 2nd attempt for my suicidal..

..something stopped me . i don't know what it was..

but hey..

when im out from me home ,

i kept thinking of YOU..

yes...

ONLY YOU..

i was hungry but the hunger went away when YOU were in my mind..

wonder wats my 1st attempt ?

- goes lik dis .

mum went buy breakfast .

cars passingby many many on road .

lol .

sumting came into my mind ,

opened the car door ,

ran towards the middle of the road .

a car almost bang me

but didn;t .

>< ''

..i'd do anything for YOU..

anything ..

BUT..please dun ask me to leave YOU..

..i cant..even..

let..

go.. of u..in my mind..

for atleast 18seconds(tested and proven O.o'')..

sigh .

6th month..

im still waiting ..

hoping u to b with me .. :(

im sory if i ever made you sad..

im really sory if i made you angry..

please forgive me . i beg you..

.. please.. its really deep..

for me ..

even a small mistake..

i cant take it ..

... im sory ..

I L O V E Y O U ` :/

xiao` mumu~

U P D A T E S .

heartbroken .
6pm will update blog .

xiao|mumu

IM ADDICTED TO YOu.......

How long will I be waiting?

Until the end of time..

I don't know why I'm still waiting..

I can't make you mine..

:(

everything seems...far..

everything seems far for me now..
hais..
very very far...
=[
afew days more...
will b 6months le..
.. :( im really speechless...
wat should i do..
.. sigh...
+ my frens all also left me oredi...
left me alone here...
hais ..




wish there were you by my side..
but..wher are you..


mumu '
y cant i gv up... i cant ... :(

2nd attempt FAIL -.-

..sigh..

why dis always happen to me .

i really dun like it ..

last night.

cried non-stop..

..and i started to give up everything.

and decided to suicide the next day..

today morning .

sunday morning .

i woke up .

went to tuition..

then ,

when the tuition is over ,

my FCKIN' dad bring me to the barber .

cut my hair until like monkey .

VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY SHORT .

this .

makes me feel like wan to suicide more .

see , im not used to having A VERY SHORT HAIR..

very sia sueh leh .

n hated my dad very much .

long time ago oredi .

he did many things ..

which is REALLY UNFAIR TO ME ..

all those things my brother and my sister gets .

i don't .

WHY !?

i also dun care la . u do me this .

i also dun wan study .

no doubt y my exam results are like shit .

BECAUSE I PURPOSELY DO IT .

BECAUSE I HATE YOU FATHER

YOU SUCK ALOT THAN ANYBODY ELSE

REALLY ALOT . I HATE YOU

i may forgive everyone .

but i will never EVER forgive him

i dun care , he is my dad or wat .

i dun give shits about it .

wher was i ...

oh ya.

he asked that ''ke ling kia'' to cut my hair dam dam dam short .

then ,

i very du lan .

then ,

he bring me to crystal inn restaurant ther .

the waiter gave the menu .

i dun care le .

ignoring wat my dad / mum / others say wat to me .

den ,

he told me . not to be such an idiot to him .

i said . ur an idiot .

then , he slaps me but MISSED ME .

OLD MAN , U've LOST UR ACCURACY .

-.-

i said i wan run

then ,

he also say " ok , u wan run , go la . but dun come back"

OK! I WILL NEVER COME BACK .

i started walking everywhere..

weather very hot le .

decided to sit down at The Store(old de , beside CrystalInn)

but .

i saw a mad old man .

walking towards me .

lol . scared LOL -.- so i ran .

went to SMK TINGGI BATU PAHAT (my school)..

very far le ..

leg pain..

the gate was closed .

sigh .

then ,

decided to stop at stadium.

sit there...

do nth ..

began to miss my mum..

i only love my mum..

MY DAD. HUMPH . NO NID TALK ABOUT HIM

i took a stone .

carved at the wall..

" MOM, IM SORY. I LOVE YOU -muruga-"

sigh .

then ,

suddenly came up to my mind .

i wan to suicide.

so i decided to walk the WIRACOURT .

and jump down frm the top. -.-

lame isn't it ? i had no choice..

i don't know how to survive anymore.

i dont know how to find work.

..and im seriously not FRENLY..-.-

was walking ...

n walking

till i reached TheStore there again .

OH SHIT .

WAS THAT MY MUM ?!.. +.+''

walao..

she saw me , ran..crying to me -.-

ask me dun go ..

piangs . i also run lo -.-

den i stop..

hearing my mum calling my name..makes me ..

><

as a child .

i love my mum ..

:D

lol.

hugs n tears =.=''

heard that my dad was crying also WAHAHAH! .

I JUST MELTED A STONE WITH A SINGLE ACTION O.o''

hehes :D

its not over yet..

i did this...

all of this..

its cause of sum1..

..hais ..

D:

` xiaomumu_______"

LARHS " +~

how long more..

u really have no idea..

how long i've been waiting for u..

sigh..

wish u could talk with u..

wish u could be with u..

but..

worried that if i did...

u would hate me ..

i really don't know what to do..

i dun wan u to hate me ..

:( 5 months ..

nvm ba..

i'll wait..

this my decision...

hope i make the right one..

today ,

exam..

ad. maths ,

cham lo.. ><''

got 15 questions..

i oni do 4/5 nia..

aiyohss :(

this time my ad.maths sure FAIL...

my Physics also sure FAIL ><''

my bio okok la :P
my Sejarah - OMG . | GG.com -.-''

sure tio scold till very gao gao -.-

boom T^T

play play with the hair dryer O.o''

nth to do le..

den. suddenly .

got idea ,

go dry up my hair ,

den ,

use HAIRTEC duno watwat le~

den , use dryer again .

woaalaaa~ my hair looks like...

LOL..................................................

XDDDD miracle-ly...theres a difference ^^

look soooooo...... B A K A ` ! xDD

` xiao | mumu ____`

i love you ..

sigh...`

..

i don't know what should i do now..

if i talk with her..

that person will hate me more..

tat person already hate me very much..

sigh..

wish this could change..

i wish that person..

chg...

n my life chg...

..

=( very hurt le ..

i dun mean to make u sad..

..5 months le ..

i cant let it go..

..

its just .. too hard..

xiao ` mumu ________`

i cant change..

TS ` 4eva n owayz |

Once upon a time
I believe it was a Tuesday when I caught your eye
And we caught onto something
I hold onto the night
You looked me in the eye and told me you loved me
Were you just kidding cause it seems to me
This thing is breaking down, we almost never speak
I don't feel welcome anymore
Baby, what happened, please tell me
Cause one second it was perfect
Now you're half way out the door

And I stare at the phone
He still hasn't called
And then you feel so low
You can't feel nothing at all
And you flashback to
When he said forever and always
Oh, and it rains in your bedroom
Everything is wrong
It rains when you're here
And it rains when you're gone
I was there when you said forever and always

Was I out of line?
Did I say something way too honest?
Made you run and hide like a scared little boy
I looked into your eyes
Thought I knew for a minute now I'm not so sure
So here's to everything coming down to nothing
Here's to silence that cuts me to the core
Where is this going?
Thought I knew for a minute but I don't anymore

And I stare at the phone
He still hasn't called
And then you feel so low
You can't feel nothing at all
And you flashback to
When he said forever and always
And it rains in your bedroom
Everything is wrong
It rains when you're here
And it rains when you're gone
I was there when you said forever and always

You didn't mean it baby
I don't think so, oh oh oh
Back up, baby back up
Did you forget everything?
Back up, baby back up
Did you forget everything?

Back up, baby back up
Please back up, oh back up
Back up, baby back up

Cause it rains in your bedroom
Everything is wrong
It rains when you're here
And it rains when you're gone
I was there when you said forever and always

And I stare at the phone
He still hasn't called
And then you feel so low
You can't feel nothing at all
And you flashback to
When we said forever and always
Cause it rains in your bedroom
Everything is wrong
It rains when you're here
And it rains when you're gone
I was there when you said forever and always

You didn't mean it baby
You said forever and always, yeah

S I G H * .

y u abit abit like this ,

i cant understand you..

if u angry with me

jz tell me mar...

hais ..

or mayb u jealous cz im with that person..

ok lo. tell me . atleast, i noe why ur behaving lik dis..

but.. u din even tell me anything..

say bye bye to u ,

wat u response ?

'' jibai la , fcker '' WTF la?

pek cek playin' smal kiddo games with you.

im not like last time now ,

if u saw this post ,

tell me why u behavin lik dat ( n stop saying vurglars [ u hvn noe how when im angry, i very long time nvr show my anger to ppl, ur consider lucky ] )

x i a o ` mumu

_________________-.-''

sigh* __ ` emo-ing all the way@

emo-ing all the way .+

` some of my frens bu shuang with me ,

cz kip on emo-in'. .. sigh , im sory guys ,

sumting made me be lik dis , n its hard...

really hard , `

everytime @ i wanna __cry '

i can ' t . dun even K N O W why . '

those words .

S I G H ` .

i dOnt wan Na say it anymor' /

dun wan her to H A T E me .

I T S U C K S W H E N U L O V E S U M O N E ,

T H A T P E R S O N T O T A L L Y H A T E S Y O U '

X I A O ' mumu

E L A P S E | T I M E B Y | ...emo-ing..?