my immortal...

I'm so tired of being here, suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave, I wish that you would just leave
Your presence still lingers here and it won't leave me alone

These wounds won't seem to heal, this pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me

You used to captivate me by your resonating light
Now, I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me

These wounds won't seem to heal, this pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me, I've been alone all along

When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me, me, me

Nex Story...

i was walking back from a place...
then...
i saw someone with someone...
i really turned me down...

it really makes me hurt...

it really makes me jealous...
and envy...
when they were holding hands....
and looking at the sky...
sitting on the same bench...


i was wondering...
when will my love come....
it really is torturing me...
although i made it so obvious....
the feeling....
is just keep on coming back...


every night...
i cry...
for you...
n i kept my promsise...
give me your sadness...
and i give you my happyness...
i really do mean it...
n i kept to it...
its been 2 years...
since you been gone...
many things happened in my episode...
its beating...very painful....


oh why...why love...
happyness isn't everything...
if you care about happyness...
what about love...
think dear...

2nd SweetHeart...

**~after 12november2008~**

haiih...everyday sad sad~~~ then, everyday my friends are here to cheer me up...lucky i have them...

day by day...my feeling towards her is fading... haha..~~~ lets not talk about that anymore~~~



now~
its me~~


now im form 3~~

studying in HSBP~~


but...i stil have my problems in my love life...well...i have my little brother wit me all the time~~
















his name is deric~~ my lil brother~ ^^ cute eh? aiya...not cute den no nid see la...4 me...he is my cutest lil brother i have(well,i only have him) haha..
although he is also in-love with someone special...he is not like me...i used to b kinda serious in my love relationships...but..hes like...''dun care'' haha...mayb because he doesn't take it seriously or maybe its his nature...

======================================================================================

haih...


**~25August2009~**

i felt happy for a few months ONLY...but...my love sickness struck my heart again...this time...it really made me very disappoint...it was JUST a question...

if i said that i love you...what will you say?

and she said : do u reli love me? qi shi i also got feeling toward you...

i realise that i am gonna be in a relationship soon enough...but...i couldn't resist either...i wanted a girl so much...i needed some1 that can be by my side everytime...so...i replied...

yes..i love you too...

shes stil in form 1...and shes from selangor...but...i don't want to hurt a smal girl's heart...so..i accepted her...it was kinda silly...because...all of my EX are not from my hometown...how weird...mayb its because my reputation here is already shattered with all the nonsense storys that was made by my most hated gang(cant say who)...

1st day...

i loved her so much...so..we start to tell everything about ourselves....from deep deep core of my heart...and hers too...we understanded each other easily...but...i always think that im making a mistake...i just DON't know what is it...it is keep on bugging me...all the time i sms with her...that thing is always on my mind...

'' is she really in my heart??...is she gonna do the same thing just like my EX? ...''

she promised to me...just like my ex...she wouldn't leave me...and she would love me forever n ever...it was really very complicating...the way she told me that...i felt very confident...that shes not gonna leave me...just like ~always hold on to my hand...wont let it go...

2nd day...

next day i woke up really very early...and i left some messages to her before i go to school...that day...it was kinda weird...everything...was looking like...abnormal...i saw some cats chasing dogs on the roadside...as i know, do dogs chased by cats?? then, my things went missing...my stuffs...n my modem went CRAZY...everything was...unknown...

at night...i felt like somethings wrong...but...she was okay...that day...my mum was kinda crazy too...she always hated me...but that day...she showed me some WEIRD LOVE...i end up in my room...spending my time with my phone ,front of my face...smsing with her...i felt quiet sad...i don't know what was the reason...suddenly, i felt down...just like THAT~...but...my dear...she was happy...i can say that she a very happy girl...never run sad...then...i dont know what came on to my mind...and i kept on asking weird questions to her...errmm..i couldn't remember what question i ask...im sory...suddenly, she stop replying my message for a few minutes...i m sooooo stupid that i asked something....something stupid that i couldn't even remember it myself...i think it really made her HATE me...i can't remember what was it...HAIZ!...she decided to break up with me...


well...if we are together too, we would break also someday...its just...i just dont understand...why...they promised me...they wouldn't leave me...they will love me 4ever...but...all they give me is...a BUNCH of SHIT?? dear...im sory if u r reading this...please forgive me...but...this now..i telling everything thats in my heart...i dont give a damn about what other people says about our love...as long as...we love each other...let them say...its their buisness...its ok...maybe your're just stil small...

2 DAYS

...not even a week...not even 48 hours...not even 2 days actually...we broke up...just like that...why? is it because...i dont have enough charisma? haa?... since that day...i started to hate myself very much...very very much...i don't know why...everyday i go school....i used to be happy...n now im sad...always sad...n hurt all the time...even when my frens are around me, making joke...im aint laughing...its ok...the feeling will fade soon...time will help...right? OH TIME...YOU DO HELP ME LAST TIME RIGHT?...please...

26December2007 (my 1st love)

she was..

...the only thing
...the one that shines in my heart...

**~2007~**

i met her in o2jam(a jammin music game) in 2007...i still don't know her...
then...we start playing the game...then, we decided to chat...we introduced ourselves...

then, we became friends...she added my MSN n i accept her as my FRIEND...then...we get to know each other by chatting...well...the thing is...shes from Sabah...n im from Johor...

**~26December2007~**

that night...12.56am(accurately)...i proposed to her...how silly am i...then...she accpeted me...and she is just keep on growing like a plant in my heart...i could'nt resist...for me...shes the prettiest in my world...

we were true lovers...we loved each other very much...although we do sometimes fight with each other...but...we stil can coop up by discussing it...we promised each other NOT to leave each other...she stil promises me that she would marry me...and will lead a VERY good life with me(although it sounds silly)...

but...it all ends...

that day....

**~5November2008~**

she started NOT to reply my messages...everytime...i used to call her...but she ain't picking up my calls...and that really hurted me...from my heart's core...i really start to feel someting is wrong...people used to say this...''when love goes wrong,nothing goes right''...so...i waited...n waited...but she still didn't reply me...



**~12November2008~**

till today...after a week...she replied my message...i felt like...tons of love came pouring from heavens...but...that is only when i saw her name on my phone...but...that message...contains something that...is really terrible...so...i read it...

she...said... (directly picked from the message)

- i think we shud nt b 2gether le...im sory...its over for us...

i replied...

- huh?? dear...wat r u tokin bout?? ...please...dun joke...

n she replied...

- see...we live so far away...how can we meet? i dun wan dating like dis le..im sory...if i go other country study, how? just think i betray u...k?...good luck wit ur nex gf...

that was the last message i receive from her...i was speechless...tears came rollin' down my from my eyes...

i tried callin' her...but she aint picking it up...messaged her...she aint replying it...

but...shes still in my heart...i cant forget her...since that day...i keep on dreaming...n loafing around...my thought are full of her...i wonder what she thinks of me...i wonder whether she still loves me or not...

....or is it true that she really betrays me?...or...is that reason she gave me...its ok...i realise that shes not for me anymore...